One Song Glory
by Angsty Anime Star
Summary: While writing One Song Glory, Roger thinks about what he really wants in life, why he's in his position, why being someone is so important to him, and what he really thinks about dying.


**Alright, well I've never written fanfiction for a musical before but after seeing RENT the other day, I just had to write something. It's not exactly a 'song-fic' though it's formatted as one. I suppose it's slightly AU, as it's Roger monologuing while he 'writes' One Song Glory (which is one of the most amazing songs ever). I have seen a few of these, but most are very romantic and for some reason I think a lot of people ignore that fact that he is a true musician. So, when reading this, please imaging he writes the line of the song, and then is thinking on what it means.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own RENT, Roger, or One Song Glory. **_

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__One song  
Glory_

All I wanted. All I've always wanted. And all I still want. For her. For April. No, for myself. It's all I'd wanted. It was music. My dreams, my ambitions…my life.

_One song  
Before I go_

I can only sigh. One song, is that all I really want? After so many years, I'll settle for one song? ...I don't want to die. Not at all. But I will. And I want to die with a name, a name people know. Something worth listening to.

_Glory  
One song to leave behind_

It's what we said when we moved in. Benny and Mark and I. We all wanted something, just a little something, so we'd live on once we were gone. Mark's got his film, and Benny's fucking rich. And, I want something. My song, so that people, more than two, will care I'm gone. And my name, it won't be gone.

_Find one song  
One last refrain_

Maybe one song, just one good one, it's better than an album and a name. Everything, all my thoughts and feelings and, only one song. My song.

_Glory  
From the pretty boy from __Maine_

I was foolish and rah and naïve and- hell, I'm still all those things! Just some blond in a club. I don't want to go down like that. Actually, that, I'd rather that than this. Writing on the roof. Trying to get one damned song.

_Who wasted opportunities __One song_

It's a well known fact I could have made it big. Had I gotten off my lazy ass, had I kept playing after a met her, after she died. Oh yeah, I'd have my songs than. I'd have a lot. Because I wouldn't have loved her. And she wouldn't have died.

_He had the world at his feet  
Glory_

No. No, I never was like that. Never rich and famous and all those childish fantasies I was stupid enough to believe in. But yeah, yeah I felt like I was on top of the world. All that took was a stage, microphone, and April. Guess I'm not too hard to please.

_In the eyes of a young girl  
A young girl_

She- April, I loved- no, I love her. Because if I stopped loving her I wouldn't be in such a mess. But I can't blame her. Even thought she left, died without a second thought. Maybe she did the smart thing….

_Find glory  
Beyond the cheap colored lights_

Maybe it's for the better I left the world of clubs, drugs, and sex. Maybe that was a sign. Something from the universe. Maybe it was trying to tell me to fix up my life. Guess I only disappointed it by doing the opposite.

_One song  
Before the sun sets_

Maybe my song shouldn't be so depressing, but, as the moon flashes, it's late. It's late for the night. Late in my life. Just, one song. Then I can be content. Then I'll rest.

_Glory -- on another empty life  
Time flies -- time dies_

That's all life is. It's an empty page. Like writing a song. Yeah, that sounds pretty good. But you've gotta fill it up . And my life, well it's as empty as my songs. I mean, one song fills up the page but life, nah, that takes more. Maybe glory, but I think I'm too far for that to matter.

_Glory -- One blaze of glory  
One blaze of glory – glory_

That's it. Just a flame. Just, I want to light a match and get it done with. If only everything else were so simple.

_Find  
Glory_

Yet I still try. Still I hold that childish hope of being someone. Make a difference with words and with music; with anything other than money really. Just, I still want to be someone.

_In a song that rings true  
Truth like a blazing fire_

I once heard that fire was pure, and I learned the purity hurt. It hurt badly. But pure is true. And that's what I'm going for. I want to be honest. I want people to her my song. Lot's of people. And I want them to silently agree.

_An eternal flame_

And that truth. I want that truth to live on and I never want to fire to die. I want to be one of those musicians, that in two, thirty, fifty years; I want people to still be listening, and still felling what I felt when I wrote it.

_Find  
One song_

Really, I can't believe I can't finish a song. It's pathetic really. But I can never find an ending. Because…things never seem to end. And when they do, there's always more.

_A song about love  
Glory_

Love. It's a word I don't even understand anymore. Yet, that's what I want my song to be about. I don't want to write a love song. But something about love. About people.

_From the soul of a young man  
A young man_

But what do I know? Not much, that's for sure. Really, ask anyone. I may not be that rash rocker anymore, but I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to die. I'm just getting ready to live.

_Find  
The one song_

So many. So so many inspirations. But I don't' want to be inspired. Well, I do. But, It's my one song. And nobody can write it but me.

_Before the virus takes hold __Glory_

I guess you could say I'm lucky, eh? I'm still breathing, aren't I? But, in all truthfulness, I died the day April did. I died with her. Only, I had to stay here while she made it to heaven.

_Like a sunset  
One song_

The sunset; I honestly don't know why, why that just came out. It's every changing, but it's all one song. And it's there forever…..Maybe I do know what I'm saying.

_To redeem this empty life  
Time flies_

Now who am I kidding? It's too late for redemption. Too late for second chances too. The clock ticks on, yet my paper remains blank. No, that's a lie. It's full of scribbles and Xs. So maybe we're getting somewhere. Building something on the paper.

_And then - no need to endure anymore  
Time dies_

I think the thought of dying both scares and relieve me. When I go, it'll be all over. And in the next world there isn't suck a nerve-racking time limit. But, I don't want to go. Because time ticks on, whether I'm around or not. And maybe it's selfish, but I've wasted so much, and I don't want to miss another second.

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**Well I hope I did the song at least some justice. I hope to write more for RENT and i'd really love some feed back. Please review, and be honest. If you found it wonderful, horrible, somewhere in the middle, critisism only helps one get better. And I thank you for reading.**


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